Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Keep on Truckin'


Famous R.Crumb illustration 
Yesterday, I received what I estimate as my 12th rejection letter in the past year or so for an exhibition, residency, grant, or other art related thing I applied for. I won’t lie, it sucks. I want all letters to begin with “Congratulations!” instead of “On behalf of the committee...,” but there are a lot of dips that come with the wonderful highs that come with being an artist.

I admittedly ran away from my first foray as an artist because of fear of rejection and/or not being good enough. After working as a graphic artist for a few years, I enrolled in college as an art major. I was an adequate artist—I could pretty much draw what I saw—but felt inadequate next to students who had a natural gift for great draftswoman/manship. At the time I thought that being able to draw and paint photorealistically made you a “real” artist. As a student, I was also writing a lot and found that it came naturally to me, kind of like the draftswoman/manship of my art classmates, so I went the easy route and dropped art to become a writer.

After several events and epiphanies, my desire to create overrode my desire to be perfect and I returned to art. This time though it was with the understanding and pledge to myself that regardless of whether I was the worst student in the class, I would persist. No easy routes.

So my plan for the day is: to persist, to paint, and to work on some more applications. Chin up girl.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Cary, I have used painting to keep from writing and writing to keep from painting. My creativity seems to be circular with bouts of manic productivity and periods of being paralyzed by fear of whatever art boogeyman is up at the time. But creating scared beats not creating any day.

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  2. I hear you, Cary! Which reminds me...get myself back in that Studio! Have a nice (creative) day!

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  3. Cary I consider you a very successful artist! What inspiration your vulnerability is to me. This post is so raw and truthful. Thanks for sharing! I find myself in the same boat... The fear boat... non the less I always get on and make it a point to ride along. I always look forward to the new place I get dropped off. Cheers to us artists.

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    1. Thanks Unknown, for your sweet words! It's funny how being a "successful" artist has so many definitions. I've gotten to the point where I feel successful whether I'm getting yes's or no's mainly because I whatever answer I get, I go back to the studio the next day and get back to work. Being able to make the art that I want to make feels like success to me. Cheers back to you!

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